Children engaging in a nefarious act.Although I hate to get blatantly political, this is just too good.

According to a report by the President’s Council on Bioethics, the newest moral threat to America is… licking ice cream cones. In fact, eating in public in general is vile and uncivilized.

Check out this excerpt from one of the authors essays,

Worst of all from this point of view are those more uncivilized forms of eating, like licking an ice cream cone–a catlike activity that has been made acceptable in informal America but that still offends those who know eating in public is offensive. … Eating on the street–even when undertaken, say, because one is between appointments and has no other time to eat–displays [a] lack of self-control: It beckons enslavement to the belly.

What we ought to learn from this report

Simple, don’t feed your children in public for they may become “enslaved to the belly.” In fact, for you ambitiously pure of soul, I suggest teaching your children not to eat at all. I can assure, my parent failed, but it’s not too late for your children!

Now I have to finish this post because the pizza guy’s here.

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